The Wonderful World of 2uCe

Why anyone would ever chose to date this dork is beyond me.

If you know me personally, I’d be the very first person to tell you that I’m a dork, nerd, geek, etc. There’s really no other way to describe me. If you’ve read my Twitter timeline you’d know that I am all over the place. My co-worker Joe earlier asked if there was anything that I DON’T do. Well, yeah, there’s a lot that I don’t, or rather CAN’T do; I can’t speak Spanish well, I can read it, but I can’t really speak or understand it verbally, I can’t play a musical instrument, sing, tell a good joke with a punchline, or do any impressions.

Yeah, I know, not a lot to really go on there, but let’s get back to the major focal point here. As some of you may know I am in a relationship, for those that didn’t, I’m sorry in advance if I’m breaking any hearts. Like any other relationship it has ups, downs, smiles, frowns, yadda, yadda and so forth (see what I did there? I stopped it from being too sappy), but it really is nice to know that someone out there will let me be me, the dorky nerd with novelty shirts, an affinity for zombies, video games, movie quotes, football, comics, electronics, movies & crochet. OK, so that last one was a lie, but how oddball would that be?

There’s a lot of women out there who have said they didn’t mind my quirky behaviors or extremely dry sense of humor, but truth be told I could tell when they were disinterested or just putting on an act. If anything I guess I was just the type of guy that was “good enough” in most cases. I can’t think of one category that I down right “shine” in or would get even the classiest of broads (yes, I said it; broads) to crack a smile. I’m a shy-ass prick who in most social situations would likely say absolutely NOTHING to the cutest girl in the room, unless of course I were drunk and we were within 3 feet of each other. Even then, I’d probably be shaking so much I spill my drink, or be like Troy from Community when he finally met LeVar Burton.

Ya, kinda like that.

How my girlfriend manages to sustain a conversation with me when I always go left field is beyond me, but she does it and I love her for it. She’s pretty kick ass that way.

Just a note to any friend-to-be of mine, if you want to be my friend, expect a lot of off the wall dry humor and behaviors.

So it’s almost midnight and since no one ever asks me questions on this thing (http://evil2uce.tumblr.com/ask) I thought I’d take the time and answer some questions that you didn’t want to know the answers to.

- The name “EViL2uCe” is an old stage name I used when I wrote and rapped. Evil was meant to be me portraying the “villain” of rap. Shut up, it was clever in the 90s. 2uCe (pronounced Duce) came from a cartoon, but after a while people would just say it was “shit”, so instead of changing my name, I kept it and just be came a “mean shit” aka “evil2uce”

- Current favorite shows: Community, 30 Rock, Modern Family, Bleach, and Attack of the Show.

- Current favorite movies: Pulp Fiction (if you haven’t seen this movie we can’t date, seriously), The Losers, Dark Knight, The Thing, Zombieland, Inception (fuck you if you “didn’t get it” just pay attention to the dialogue) and Clerks.

- Favorite candy: Reese’s Cups, Twix, Twizzlers, or gummy bears

- Favorite Cookies: Nutter Butters. I swear I’d commit crimes for those fuckers.

- I love Japanese culture and history, and seeing scenes from the earthquake and tsunami breaks me.

- No, I’m not very religious. If I go any further on this I’d probably lose friends.

- I’m an avid BlackBerry user, and I am probably the only person I know who uses there phone for everything it possibly can do (or did at one point).

- I follow some pornstars on Twitter, because truth be told they’re actually more interesting and funnier than some celebrities I follow, and SURPRISE they don’t all talk about sex!

- Baseball sucks to watch on TV, so I want to go to at least 3 games this year.

- The NFL needs to get its shit together.

- I have a Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr. I’ll commonly only give out my Twitter, but warn you about how often I tweet. Facebook, you have to earn the right, unless I know you personally.

- I get bored easily and sometimes just stare at my phone hoping someone random texts me. No one ever texts me.

That sums it up.

- MiSTeR2uCe